Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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