I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
