Whod you bang
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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