i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
