I want to have your abortion
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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