I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
