Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
