sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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