If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize