DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
