So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
