um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
