I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
