after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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