i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
