dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
