i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize