you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
