she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
