Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
