if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize