all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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