hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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