He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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