Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
