Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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