Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
