My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
