he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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