I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
