While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dick very happy bro
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
