HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
