Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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