apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
