i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
