I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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