My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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