just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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