the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
