I'm drive I can fine osifer
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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