careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
