I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
