You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
