the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm drive I can fine osifer
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize