I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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