I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Still dying that you shit outside
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
