Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
