Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
