you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
