Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
