somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
