I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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