What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
