you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
