we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
