Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
