They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
