you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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