even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize