I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
