I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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