Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize