i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
