So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
