Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize