the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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