Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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